By: Gloria Ogunbadejo
When you think of relationships what comes to
mind? Is it your relationship with your spouse, your children, friends, family
members, employers? What about the relationship you have with yourself? Have
you ever explored that and what does it look like? Are you proud of what you
see?
All of life is about relationships. We have
relationships with everything. I am excited that I have a relationship with you
dear readers just as you have with me. The relationship you have with people,
objects, food and your environment all reflect the most important relationship
you will have which is with yourself. The relationship you have with yourself
is highly influenced by the relationships you had with the adults around you as
a child. The way the adults reacted to us when we were children is often the
way we in turn react towards ourselves now, both positively and negatively.
Every major relationship we have is a reflection of the relationships we had
with one of our parents or primary care givers. Until and unless we understand
what type of relationship we had with one of our parents or primary care
givers, being free to create truly important, untainted adult relationships may
be difficult. It is important to remember this as we raise our own children as
they will also have to negotiate this same complex terrain.
Most people are not really in touch with the type of relationship they have
with themselves. But it is quite crucial in determining how we navigate and
negotiate our way in the world.
Depending on the type of relationship you have
with yourself, it will determine how you teach people to treat you. If you are
not aware of how you think of yourself, you are bound to let other people make
the decisions about whom and what you are and consequently decide how you
should be to decide how you will be treated.
On the other hand, if you subconsciously or even
consciously have low self-esteem and think very little of yourself and your
self-worth, you invariably will let yourself be maltreated in a variety of
ways.
People sometimes misunderstand what low
self-esteem or poor self-worth really entails. Women who acquire material
things from men by allowing themselves to be debased or both men and women
engaging in indiscriminate sexual dalliances while convincing themselves that
they are having a good time is really a sign of low self-esteem.
Relationships are mirrors of ourselves. What we
attract always mirrors either the qualities we have or beliefs we hold about
relationships. This is true whether it is a boss, a co-worker, employee, a
friend, a lover, a spouse, or a child.
The things you do not like about people generally
tend to be what you believe. The truth of the matter is that you could not
attract these people or have them in your life if the way they are did not
somehow compliment your own life. The only way to bring change in others is to
change ourselves first. Blame is a useless act. Blaming only gives away our
power and responsibilities for self determination. We need this power to effect
change in ourselves. The helpless victim generally cannot see a way out. Our
own attitudes to life, our complex beliefs including limitations, play an
intrinsic part in limiting us.
What belief is limiting you? As we move towards
the end of the year, make room for the new, clean out the clutter in your mind.
The times we are in at the moment tend to foster
an innate tendency for people to feel the harm done to them. It breeds a
climate and season of discontent.
It breeds an environment of envy, jealousy,
intolerance, resentment and ‘bad belle’ which may even lead to full-blown
hatred as we can see from all the unrest around the world.
Basic humanity is low on the ground. People go
out of their way to hurt and harm those who they may be more fortunate than.
Worse still, they have no problem stamping on
those who are already down and less fortunate than they are if they feel they
serve no purpose to their own advancement. This cannot be alright, it is not
okay!
Do not delay or obstruct your own goodwill,
prosperity, good fortune and blessings by being resentful or jealous that
someone else has more than you. Do not criticise how other people choose to
spend their money or how they live their lives.
It is really none of your business; even when you
may know or think that the money they are spending could have been stolen or
acquired through illegitimate means.
Or you think the money has denied you of some
things rightfully. We all know there are a lot of people in positions of
authority , friends and relatives who fall under the description above.
Each person is under the law of karma and no one
will go scot-free. They really do not. The universe has its own way of making
people pay for their sins. They will deal with the consequences at some point
in their lives. Just take care of your own thoughts and behaviours and bide
your time.
Your prosperity consciousness is not dependent on
money. Everyone has their own container of prosperity. Your container is your
consciousness and it can always be exchanged for a larger container.
Training yourself to think this way encourages
feelings of expansion and a sense of an unlimited supply. It is possible to
recognise prosperity in non-financial forms, just having money is not enough.
There are so many people with huge money who are utterly miserable and who are
simply unable to experience true pleasure with their wealth.
I feel that the kind of money I fantasise about
at this stage in my life would no doubt be the cherry on my already delicious
and bountiful cake (my family life, career). But maybe that cherry would give
me diarrhoea and cause me untold problems.
My focus has to be on building, protecting and
nourishing all aspects of my life so that when the right opportunity presents
itself, I will meet it in the right state of mind and with an already balanced
life. There are many of us living very unstable, unbalanced and torpedoed
lives.
There are always infinite numbers of gifts and
blessings coming our way. We simply need to release old negative beliefs and
adapt a willingness to change in order to open the space to begin to create
prosperity; and be receptive to receiving these gifts from expected and
unexpected sources.
Rejoice in the small and new beginnings. Begin to
recognise prosperity everywhere and rejoice in it. You do not want someone
else’s blessings (as much as we may be tempted to covet it) as we do not know
what is attached to it.
You want your own at its rightful time. There is
a natural rhythm and flow of life. Things come and things go, we just have to
learn to be more mindful and observant to see this.
And when something goes wrong in this natural rhythm
of life, it is only making room for something new and better.
Copyright PUNCH.
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